3 Ways to Build More Confidence Starting Today
"What's wrong with being confident?". The hit song, "Confident" by Demi Lovato is a theme song for many women.
Being confident can sometimes be mixed up with words like "cockiness", self-absorbed behavior, or conceitedness. These are all just words that people use when they feel like you're shining too bright, and they want to dim your light.
Part of becoming confident and secure in yourself is realizing that other people will always have opinions about you, positive and negative. And the goal is to become so confident within yourself that you stop letting those opinions or assumptions get in your way.
Here's three ways that you can start working on your confidence TODAY. These small habits will make big changes over time.
1. DAILY AFFIRMATIONS
If you're unfamiliar with affirmations, or you've heard about them and think it's a meaningless concept, allow me to change your mind. Most people believe that affirmations are just a bunch of sentences that you repeat while looking at yourself in the mirror everyday, and that you immediately start believing in yourself. Unfortunately it doesn't work that day. It takes consistency, practice, and adjusting your mindset.
The purpose of affirmations is to choose words, phrases, or mantras that resonate with the person you are affirming yourself to be. Writing down your own affirmations, listening to an audio, or repeating affirmations repeatedly to yourself are all ways that you can use them. With these actions, the goal is to train your subconscious mind (the part of the brain that listens to your words and thoughts) to believe what you are affirming, and to eventually become or feel exactly what the affirmations are.
I personally like to write down my own set of affirmations in my journal each day to set the tone for how I want to feel. An example of an affirmation would be " I am healthy, motivated, and ready to move towards my dreams today".
In order to become "that girl" you have to believe that you are that girl.
2. SPEND TIME ALONE
Spending time alone can be uncomfortable or cringy if you're not used to doing it, or you always are around people. Taking time for yourself is especially important if you live with a partner or other people, and you rarely have a minute for yourself.
A huge part of becoming confident is knowing that you are self-sufficient and that you actually know who you are and enjoy your own company. Doing things like eating at a restaurant by yourself, going to the movies solo, taking a trip by yourself, or even going to a class or networking event by yourself can really build your confidence quickly.
Spending time alone isn't supposed to isolate you or make you feel like you don't need anyone around. The point is to be okay with sitting with yourself; and to be okay with other people seeing you by yourself in a setting where maybe everyone else may be in a pair or group. The first few times you go out solo may feel weird, but if you continue to do it, then eventually you will stop assuming that people are staring or judging you, and you will actually look forward to it.
Remember that the best time spent, is time getting to know and love yourself. There should never be any regret surrounding that.
3. CELEBRATE YOUR WINS
One of the most effective ways to build confidence is by giving ourself flowers, recognizing our growth, and celebrating our accomplishments. Imagine every time you grew 100 followers on social media, you threw yourself a little party at home or treated yourself to your favorite meal. We sometimes are so focused on an "end goal" that we forget to celebrate the progress and small wins along the way.
We've been so conditioned in society, especially as women, that we have to be quiet about what we've accomplished. We shouldn't brag and we shouldn't make other people feel bad by talking about our wins. That is complete BS. Not only are you allowing yourself to acknowledge the work you've put in, but you are also inspiring other people to do the same. Imagine a world on social media where no one ever posted a milestone, a career achievement or a big achievement in their life. The world would be different a place. A large population of the world feels inspired or motivated by seeing other people reach their goals and live a full and meaningful life. So start giving yourself some credit and sharing what you are proud of yourself for. One accomplishment leads to the next. The more confident you are, the higher your potential becomes to get the life you want.
If you're interested in working with me 1 on 1 to build your confidence, move closer to your highest, authentic self, and stop letting the opinions of others hold you back, then fill out the application for Online Confidence Coaching. Let's work!